Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Joker

So I've been working hard to watch at least 8 hours of television a day. I don't always reach my goal but I'm getting there.

I primarily watch shows where someone kills someone else while a third someone uses the second someone's body to find the first someone and bring them to justice. It's all very redundant. But at 50 hours of TV a week I suppose you'd expect me to say that.

At any rate it's caused me to seriously consider a life of crime. It seems like a great way to stay motivated. The minute you stop running - bam! It's over buddy. Talk about a constant adrenaline rush. I could probably stop drinking all this diet coke.

See, that's what's bugging me. Sometimes it feels like I would have been a better thief than a missionary. I like adventure, risk, reward, danger, and especially adrenaline. I tried to harness those qualities for God, but it turns out that you can't leverage your flesh to accomplish a spiritual goal over the long haul. Who knew?

So that leaves me here wondering if I should have just owned the fact that I'm a natural born bad guy and proceeded with a life on the run. Evangelist turned bank robber - sweet.

But seriously, how do people know who they are and what they want? What if I spend my whole life straining to become a CEO when I'm emotionally happiest as a butler? Or what if I'm pretending to be exceedingly good when I've got the moral fiber of a common criminal?

I guess I'm just wondering if you know who you are. Cause I don't. But while I'm figuring it out you'd probably better watch your wallets. I'm telling you, I should have been The Joker.


  1. I've been pondering this one lately. I'm quite sure I'd never make it as a crook. I have a tendency to trip over flat surfaces. Not good on the getaway. In fact, I've compiled a quite long list of the things I'm obviously not made for. (Sometimes I feel like I'm using a process of elimination.) Finding the things I am good at has proved more difficult. At least you have a life of crime as a fallback!
    Josh Finley hit on this a little on Sunday - (were you there?) - talking about finding out what you're made for, he said to look at what wakes you up inside, what people ask you for help with, what makes you angry; somewhere in there is the key to what you're made for. So I've been pondering that one lately. Especially what makes me angry. But I'm pretty sure that those people who decide to write a check at the grocery store even though 14 people are in line behind them, and then balance their checkbook while everyone waits - has nothing to do with my life purpose. You never know, though

  2. I often ponder similar questions. I used to steal often when I was younger and may have turned out better if I had been caught at some point, but I wasn't. So here I am wondering again why I have never followed thru on any of my master plans. A friend and I once planned the perfect robbery of REI. I'm certain it would have worked as the SPD, at the time, was not exactly known for its quick response times.
    More recently I have been thinking on the side of selling drugs. I have no desire to use them but the thought of potential quick money is always a nice thought. I mean seriously, take a look at your avg thug. How many of them are driving around in cars worth more than the avg person makes in a year?! The problem sets in when I really think about it and acknowledge that once I got in with a group like that I would likely put the Sig 40 hidden behind my back to good use. At which point do I just become another thug murderer or hero in my own right?
    The other one I often ponder is getting dropped off in the Congo and ridding the world of some obnoxious folks who think it ok to kidnap children, hand them guns and then force them to shoot others so they can eat. NOT COOL

    All that to say, I'd join you Matt if I had any idea how to set-up a blog-spot. So for now I'll just comment now n then, it feels good to clear the air of some of these thoughts :-)

  3. Hey Caveman,

    You can definitely figure out how to set up the blog. Just go to I just did two days ago so I'm still figuring all this out too. It's therapudic to get your thoughts out huh?

    Keep writing,

    ~ Matt