Saturday, June 19, 2010
Maybe this blog should be private? Call me crazy, but prior to this week I didn't consider the fact that these entries could discourage others. Evidently I've been so narcissistic that I failed to notice the potential repercussions. I see it now and I'm really sorry!
I didn't expect people to read this and think, "this depressed guy is a genius; I will now adjust my thinking accordingly." I assumed my foolishness was self-evident. I thought people would laugh at me, remember having similar thoughts, and hope I get over myself soon. What I failed to realize is that my logic might actually resonate with other depressed and/or dumb people.
Are there really people out there who think I make sense? Listen, if you are reading this, and agree with me even a little, please stop reading. I'm a fool. Nothing I say is true. And if you take me at face value rather than as the loony that I am, you will certainly destroy your life. Don't listen to me. Seriously. Stop reading this now. Are you still here?
Some smart people suggested a private blog instead. I'm not sure how that works, but supposedly I could give select people reading access. It sounds kind of cool. Like an exclusive club for VIPs who want to commiserate with me. We could name it something snobby and act important. We'd have luncheons at bookstores on the second Thursday of every month. But I'd probably just approve everyone.
Unless I created an application! People would be required to write an essay about why they think I'm an idiot and how they're prepared to protect their minds against my immature nonsense. I think I'm on to something. Wait, is this like narcissism in reverse?
Seriously though, I wonder if I should go private. I don't want to hurt people. It would break my heart if my wilderness gave some well-intentioned soul a license to justify their own crap. Wouldn't that earn me a mill-stone-scuba-diving-trip or something?
Or maybe it's possible to censor myself instead? I could avoid suggesting absurdities like anarchy, atheism, and the right to life and liberty. At the very least it could be like the Psalms, where David mulls suicidal, murderous, and blasphemous thoughts before reminding himself of God's goodness. God doesn't seem to mind people reading Psalms, and I don't want to kill anyone anyway.
But David's dead now. Maybe the private blog proponents aren't as concerned about how others will be influenced as they are about how silly I look. Maybe they just love me and want to protect me from flagellating myself in front of the world. Hmm.